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Phoaaar! Vauxhall Chevettes, Renault 5s, all those sensible motors scudding around Europe in an illegal race – watch out Nigel!
H ot hatchbacks. Did you have one back in the Eighties? My mate torched his in Liverpool to get the insurance money. Love ‘em or loathe ‘em though, they are quick – off a shovel, if you will.
And they are making a triumphant return in Burning Rubber, where the Wacky Races meets the Boy Racers in an illegal race across Europe and America, organised by a chap called Fast Fred.
The introductory sequence to Burning Rubber is curious. Popular music group The Utah Saints perform a tune while garbled Sixties and Nineties images proliferate on screen. Words and symbols flash forth – CND and Burning Rubber amongst others. It is all quite disturbing, though strangely enjoyable. But that is not why you are here, is it?

To join the race, pick a hatchback – there is a choice of six – then stop off at Fast Fred’s Speed Shop, soup-ups a speciality. You are greeted by a woman in a rather skimpy outfit, just like at Kwik Fit, tempting you into parting with a few dollars. You have got $4,000 in the kitty, so spend it wisely.

There are various car parts on offer, all of which improve your car’s performance, for instance, Nitros give you great acceleration but only for a limited amount of time; Brakes increase your braking speed. You can even add one of those charming body kits that improves the handling, or is it the looks? Or maybe nothing.

Foot to the floor
Before you finally get to put your boot on the accelerator (which is why you are here), you have to pick a racing route. Options abound as you peruse the map, looking for a short route to the chequered flag.
But beware, the shorter routes often involve many junctions and you constantly have to slow down. And who in their right mind wants to cruise around Scotland in a Peugeot 205 GTi at anything less than breakneck speed?

Apart from the obvious dangers of crashing, there are other hazards. That hardy-perennial – the speed trap – crops up; the cops give chase and you can either try and burn them off and risk crashing, or play a patient game and wait for a gap, then go hell for leather, however, if you can stop completely the cops will nab you, and that means jail.
Civilian cars are white and travel slowly – they are easy to overtake – while the black cars are competitors with drivers with varying degrees of skill.

After Scotland, there are other parts of Europe to negotiate, and with varying conditions to tackle. London, for instance, has high police activity and poor visibility – you race in virtual darkness. Paris is stormy and Germany has blizzards.

At the end of each level, you can go back to Fast Fred’s for add-ons to increase performance, but only if you can afford them. Crash too often and you will have to fork out for repairs. Once in America (it takes ages to get there, believe me), you get to choose a new motor, and the courses offer slightly different hazards, including pedestrian areas.

Chequered flag
Burning Rubber is a strange bird. The graphics are nicely drawn and you get a decent feeling of speed, particularly when you fire the Nitros in action. The view, from behind your car works well, but somehow it is not quite enough.
An injection of humour would have been nice – the odd deer running across the road, or maybe a peleton of cyclists hurtling around the corner. And a two-player option would have added an extra dimension.

In a number of words, and for want of more exciting and turbo-charged summation to this reasonably average arcade conversion, it has to be said that Burning Rubber drives well but adds very little to the genre.
Rob Mead